My period came. Late. How late? Not for sure since last month I spotted for 5 days before my actual period... So either a week or 2 days late. But it came. After having pms bad where I felt nauseated and even threw up. I started to get excited. I got my hopes up and took 2 pregnancy tests (one Wednesday and one today) that both came up negative.
After a great dinner at my moms I saw the evidence of aunt flow knocking on my door. Disappointed I asked my mom for a pad. Then my little sister was saying I would be done having kids by the time she had them... And I lost it. I had tries to be strong, I tried to not cry, but I failed. I bawled and fell onto my parents bed where my mom hugged me and tried to comfort me.
My daughter who is super sensitive was upset that I was sad and started to cry so I had to pull my self together and buck up for her. Also how can I be sad when I have the cutest baby who is so smart and sweet? I really am blessed!
I have decided I am taking a break from trying. I don't want a Christmas baby and so I am done trying for now. I am selfish I know but my anniversary is 6 days before Christmas Eve and if I got pregnant the baby would be due 5 days after... So I don't want a mess of aniverschristmasbirthday... So I am taking a break.
I am going to focus on me. And start working out and stop stressing.
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