Dear Brian,

Watching you today on our family date broke my heart. Watching you and Emma play and giggle and then you making faces at the baby in the booth behind us made me feel horrible. You are the best father, and are great with children. I know that you want another baby and I know this is not easy for you.
I'm sorry you married someone who can't give you what you want right now. I'm sorry that you married someone whose baby making parts don't feel like cooperating. I know you say that them being just as stubborn as I am is only fitting, and I know you laugh through pain and keep your head up. I know that your faith is strong.
I am trying not to feel guilty for this because I know that you love me unconditionally and that you love the little family we have now but I can't help it. I can't help for feeling like it is all my fault and you deserve to be with someone who can give you a big family with as many kids as you want and when you want them. I try to be strong. I try to have faith. I love our family and feel so blessed with the amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, sweet daughter that we have... But... I can't help but feel an empty hole... A space that no matter how hard I try to ignore and move on I can't. I can't let go. i feel so bad for you that I got you stuck in all my girl issues. I'm sorry.
I am grateful you are such an amazing man and incredible father and I am grateful that you are being so patient during this trial.
I love you handsome!