Try or not?

Well I am in my 11 month of trying... And let me tell you. This whole trying thing is so hard... Not like I am saying anything new for those that follow my blog... 

I didn't know that when you were trying you would have intense mood swings, you finally are so strong and then that all comes crashing down.

I didn't know that you dread yet are addicted to going to the bathroom to see when you wipe if there is any blood spots... And that the slightest, tiniest, lightest little spot of pink or brown can send you spiraling down into depression to know it wasn't this month.

I didn't know how time consuming trying was. With all the charting, temperature taking and ovulation testing.

I didn't know that is literally all you think about and they your body craves a baby. I didn't know that all this could create a hysterical pregnancy. 

So now here I am in my 11 month trying to decide... Should I skip the testing, charting, and temperature taking... Forgetting about doing the deed when it is right and instead focus my thoughts and time else where and just doing the dance with my husband when we want? Ugh I hate deciding. Part of me wants to chart like I have never charted before and the other part of me wants to try and relax.

I finished my last dose of clomid yesterday and this round sucked! 150 mg made me feel like a train hit me. I could barely manage to get out of bed to help my daughter. Not looking forward to next month when I am back at 150. 

My mom told me she fasted for me and Brian today. That makes me feel good. If anything I love knowing that people are supportive and wanting this to work out just like me.