Learning to cope with infertility

Yesterday one of my husband's sweet friends from usu sent me a message on FB with a link to an article in the June 2012 Ensign. (The ensign is a magazine published by the LDS church) the article was, "Learning to Cope with Infertility"

By Carolynn R. Spencer. 

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/06/learning-to-cope-with-infertility

This whole article spoke straight to my heart and I would fully recommend looking it up and reading it for yourself. 

Until reading this I had no idea how many amazing women in the Bible struggled with infertility, Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah and Elisabeth. The story of Hanna spoke the most to me. The Author of the article said, "I learned from Hannah’s despair that it makes no sense to let gratitude for the blessings we do have be crowded out by sorrow over the one thing we lack. I wondered if Hannah recognized how blessed she was in her marriage, despite her childlessness. Her husband, Elkanah, wondered the same: “Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8)"

Replace Hannah with Hilary and Elkanah with Brian and you have our story. Brian has said almost exactly what Elkanah said to Hannah to me during our struggle. He would feel hurt because he felt I was grateful for the blessings on him and Emma and felt he wasn't good enough. That is so far from the truth and I have been trying to months to show more of my gratitude towards him and Emma. I am glad that we have the scriptures and stories that we can relate to. I am not alone. There are women that have felt what I have and men that have felt Brian's pains. I have learned to find joy in what I have been given- Emma and Brian. If Emma is our only child I am so blessed to have her forever! 

The author talked about how he received confirmation that she needed to be patient and trust in The Lord and His timing. She called her husband saying she wanted him to receive it as well and he replied saying he felt he didn't need one. He always felt this was HER trial to learn to trust The Lord and His timing and stop trying to alter the plan.

Again, replace the names with Hilary and Brian and you've got our story. He has been telling me since we have been trying and I have received priesthood blessings saying that I need to learn to be patient and just trust in my Heavenly Father. 

I am so grateful for this article. Although it came at a time where I am the strongest I have been so far I still needed this and it has made me a better person. Please go read the full article! It is a good one!