I survived a double dose of clomid. This time I was exhausted (ALL THE TIME), had blurred vision (more so than my normal blindness), dizzy, nauseated, and emotional... but no more emotional than normal Hilary and still possibly better than normal Hilary. Also hot flashes really really suck in a heat wave...
I am still doing overall way better with this whole infertility trial. I am at peace and know that for some reason I am going through this and I will be stronger. I know that my baby will come to our family when the time is right. For now I am just loving my baby (who is now more of a little girl) and living day by day.
Before I met Brian I was overcoming a trial in a different form (a breakup with a guy that I had strong feelings for and thought was the one) and at that time was the hardest thing I had ever gone through. I was heartbroken, hurt, angry and frustrated. I had a wall up to guys that was non-existent before. I had tried to get out there and date after but nothing clicked. Over the summer I spent my time learning to love me. I was an EFY counselor and just enjoyed my time with my family in my home in Washington. I needed the time to learn who I was and I needed to be happy with who I was single before I could get married.
The day before school started I got the message on Facebook that forever changed my life. My friend Becca said she had the perfect guy for me. After talking to her on the phone I got his number. A few texts later and I was meeting Brian at the corner between our apartments and the rest is history.
I had a lesson to learn then. I had to learn to be patient, have faith and be happy. Just like I needed to learn those things before I was ready for Brian I need to learn the exact same things right now. I need to be happy with my life now and my amazing little family, I need to be patient and have faith before I can be ready for my baby.
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