frustrated

Today I am so frustrated. This whole tracking thing to make sure I am ovulating is getting to me. BBT is not working, since Emma wakes up randomly and only wants me so waking up and taking my temperature within a half hour each day before getting up is impossible! The whole peeing on a stick is not fun. 1. I have a shy bladder that when you tell it to pee has a hard time 2. I have a small bladder so waiting 4 hours to pee is no fun and 3. I hate seeing the negative test (even though it is just an ovulation test and not pregnancy)

I am so worried I am not ovulating and I am frustrated, I want to cry! I hate being in pain every day and feeling sick, I hate not having a baby. I hate it! I have no idea why I was totally fine with everything until today. I don’t know what caused all this anger, frustration and heart ache. Maybe it was going to Logan yesterday for a friend’s baby blessing and the ward was full of brand new babies or pregnant women… I swear either there is nothing better to do in Logan or there is something in the water because EVERYONE is pregnant… maybe I should move back since I had no problems when I lived there.

Maybe my sister is right and that it is hormones, even though it isn’t that time of the month and according to my pee stick I am not ovulating in the next 24 hours.

Maybe I am a dramatic girl.

Maybe it is Satan trying to discourage me and bring me down. Since that is my biggest weakness is worrying and stressing.

Maybe it is a combination of multiple things or even all of them.